Religiously; with consistent and conscientious regularity. I have struggled with the word and concept of Religion. Honestly, it has always made me shudder a little. I was raised Catholic and went to church regularly. I even went to Catholic School for a tiny bit. Participated in all the sacraments, learned all the rules, painfully “listened” to all the endless talking from the pulpit. The sermons were always so so long and mostly meaningless to me. When we, my siblings and I, grew older, we started to go to the 5:30 Saturday evening mass so that we could party later that night and not have to get up to go to church. Friends would be giving each other winks and smiles knowing where the night was headed. Eventually, I just stopped going. And I started to do more research discovering Goddess Religion, Buddhism, Hindu, Unitarian..I guess I did feel the need for spiritual guidance and a higher power to talk to. Now and then I would step inside a church. For weddings, funerals and now and then, a mass. Every time I was in a hurry to leave. Just never felt good inside. In my early 20’s, I backpacked around Europe and the UK. I was so drawn to all the ancient, and plentiful churches and sanctuaries. Went to so many. Wandered around, sat in pews, lit candles. I loved the smell, the feeling, the stained glass. I remembered watching the older women in church with their rosaries, running their fingers across every bead, murmuring words that I only later understood to be prayer. THIS part, I really liked. But man I was so hellbent on NOT being religious and denouncing Catholicism. After my twin babies were born I was gifted a book, “Raising Children in the Goddess Tradition”. What a transformative, inspiring, life changing book this became. I did want to give my kids some kind of ritual, some kind of acknowledgement of a higher power, some tangible practice of at least an idea of spirituality. We celebrated all the Pagan holidays. Read the stories of goddess and gods. Created crafts and food based on each Sabbat. They took Honey Baths and made corn husk dolls. We ate Soul Cakes and Persephone Rising PopOvers. It was magical. I possibly loved it more than they did. This all eventually took me on my own personal path of Spirituality. I slowly embraced more modalities and practices. Read more books about Goddesses and Witches. I started adding Moon Ritual and Altar Making. I was gifted a Mala bracelet and I began using it every morning for my ritual devotion, using it like the women in church did. I took a Witch class. I bought books. I bought a pendulum that I use faithfully in my work and for myself. I made Anointing Oils and hand rolled candles. I use Sex Magick for manifesting. I use night walks in nature and especially under a full moon as my “confessional”. I could not be happier with the Spiritual Path that I unknowingly sought out, having trust, faith, reverence and devotion to a higher power but now, it is a chosen path and one that gives me peace, love, growth and wisdom. Blessed Be, So Mote It Be, Namaste
